Belvidere Heights Baptist Church

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Email Mike and Marcia at Hallelujah82@msn.com.

How to Have a Godly Fight - Ephesians 4:25-32

Conflict is common in all marriages. Conflict results because of many causes. The primary causes of conflict are insecurity, differences in values, competition, personal differences, power and control, misunderstood feelings and unmet needs.

Rules for Fighting Fair:
1.  Keep it honest - Commit to being honest and mutually respectful. v.25
2.  Keep your words under control - Make sure your words are not deadly. Don't attack the person with destructive words that tear down. Remove words such as "always" and "never". v.26
3.  Keep it timed right - Agree together that the time is right to resolve the conflict. v.26-27
4.  Keep it positive - Be ready with a positive solution. When you come to your spouse with a justified criticism , be quick with a suggested solution. Remember: Condemnation without hope crushes!  v. 28
5.  Keep it tactful - Watch your words and guard your tone. When we get softer, we say more (Proverbs 15:1)  When you are tactful you are saying to your mate, " I trust as I share these words that I won't hurt you unnecesarily. Do not use profanity, degrading comments, sarcasm, or bitter words. v. 29
6.  Keep it private - Don't swing at your mate in public. Your malice is showing when you fight with your mate in public. Public embarrassment and cutting sarcasm hurt deeply.  v. 31
7.  Keep it cleaned up - You can clean it up with kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness. With kindness there is grace. With tenderness there is compassion. With forgiveness is the very person that forgave you - Jesus Christ! v. 32

Couple Time
Read back through the fighting rules and discuss with your spouse two rules that you need to improve.
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